Jennifer Aniston is stealing my Gerard Butler game

June 2024 · 2 minute read

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So in between endless pregnancy announcements today (like Amy Poehler’s and Kevin Costner’s and those people from It’s Always Sunny and Winne Cooper’s), I’ve been wondering about my guy Gerard Butler. I’ve been wondering if he and Jennifer Aniston are really hot for each other or if they’re just playing like they’re hot for each other. I’ve been wondering what he looks like naked. I’ve been wondering how many girls he’s banged since he got to New York. I’ve also been watching his Good Morning America interview, and it’s hilarious and interesting and weird. He’s talking about building schools in Haiti, but with his brogue, “schools” sounds like “screws”. Which is not what he’s doing, for the record. Oh, and FYI: Aniston is stealing my game. She’s befriending Gerard’s mom. That was my way in, bitch!

Oh, I would give anything to know what (who) he was doing all night, causing him to get no sleep. Partying with hookers much?

Anyway, in further “Aniston-is-stealing-my-game” news, she’s actually cooking and baking for him. Seriously, that was my move too, Aniston! Stop mind-f-cking me!!! Aniston told People Magazine, “I love to cook.” And Butler confirmed: “Mexican…She has a big thing with Mexico and Mexican food. And I had a great night of Mexican food and a whole bunch of people … over at her house, she had a big to-do, and she had a lot of friends over and it was delicious. She makes a good cupcake. And I’m good at eating them.” You bastard! You promised you would only eat my cupcakes!

So are they together? Perhaps even asking that question is an admission that this game has worked yet again. Or perhaps they’re just two people who get along, affectionately and publicly. Meh. Gerard summed up his feelings on the dating-Aniston rumors by telling The Sun: “I went for her birthday to Mexico. We’re just friends. We have a natural chemistry – you can see it in our magazine shoot and the film. We have a great time together. But here’s the thing – while they’re accusing me of being with Jennifer, I’ve probably been off somewhere else doing damage with someone else.” With me? I’ll never tell. Actually, I would probably do a three-part series (at least) for this site if I ever got the chance to meet (much less nail) Gerry.

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38661PCN_BountyHunter

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Gerard at the ‘Bounty Hunter’ premiere on March 16, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

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